You wonder ... right?

Yesterday - you believed the world you see is all there is ...

Today - an insight shows there's more.

So -

You let go of the doubt that pinches the shoes-of-compassion you're growing into ...

Before -

Stepping into an unknown future.

And wonder ...

Where is this awakening leading me?

The Blossoming of My Unknown Future

Intrigued the steering wheel wants to turn on its own - my insatiable curiosity follows ...

And -

I know what I am about to do.

Uncomfortable. Unsure of the words to use. Uncertain who to talk to ... I take my awakened-self - and ask for a job.

My awakened-self nobody knows about ...

Just like -

Nobody knows when that first human woke-up.

When that first ego-seed polluted a pure heart; or, first wisdom story was told ... then handed down from generation to generation long before those 5000-year-old tracings modern-man discovered.

As for me?

One simple human in an ocean of eight billion - swimming in the Sea-of-Humanity in the 21st century ... the only experience I can convey is my own:

When I woke up, the world as I knew it fell away.

My only unselfish friend - in this selfish world - was diagnosed. The veterinarian started with I suspect - but I don't remember anything more. Disbelief paralyzed my senses; his voice drifted into the cosmic void; and, I seemed to be transported into another world.

While in this other place -

My emotions wanted to lash out in anger ... but a gentleness surrounded me instead. I tried to scream: Stop the world. Go back! Give me back my life before Buddy and I drew angels in the snow! ... but a quietness soothed my fears.

When I returned -

My old ways of being on the Earth no longer worked.

And I discovered ...

The stillness - that turns me into my own silence - left a reason to believe life can be lived from a deeper sense of purpose.

So -

I immersed myself in what my awakening had to teach.

Discover for myself: How do I bring that gentleness into everything I say and do? Experience first-hand: How can I live from a tender heart? 

And -

The Garden Center became my fulcrum.

Year One

I felt lost.

Lost in the global mulch. No identity; no idea of who I now was - or where I was from.

No one to reach out to ...

And -

No one to share my vision: How do I live - from my awakened-self - in the everyday world?

What few understand ...

Over time -

Most people transform in place like I once had. Work the job; navigate through a career that may - or, may not - be enjoyable. Day-by-day. Month-by-month. Year-by-year ... struggle to dissect each new insight as it comes; then, ponder over every choice until figuring out how to become a kinder - gentler - human being.

In truth?

The work-a-day world gives us a chance to put into practice the wisdom those insights show us are possible.

And now -

All these years later, here I am - standing in the middle of a courtyard the size of a tennis court - peering across rows and rows of perennials sprawled across a sea of tables packed to overflowing.

How far each - one-time original specimen - traveled to create the hybrid it's now a part of. How far I traveled to stand in the midst of them ... maybe, to be reminded I'm a hybrid too.

Because -

I'm not a stranger in the business world. I'm not a stranger in the awakened world now either ...

But -

Flailing in the betwixt-and-between inside, what seems like, two mutually exclusive hemispheres. The ones those of us waking-up navigate through.

Do I blame today's anesthetized civilization? Commerce? The materialism we've been sucked into?

Human consciousness evolves.

We've achieved the remarkable: outer space broadens our worldview; education births critical thinkers; medicine cures the masses ...

All to better the human experience.

But -

I wish early visionaries had thought a little more deeply about the lasting impact of each innovation. Considered the possibility of a deeper knowledge few - if any - understood back then ... 

Before -

Destroying the indigenous wisdom that taps into those oral traditions we only get a 5000-year-old glimpse of now.

So much know-how discarded. So much culture obliterated. Carelessly tossed away -

Abandoning us in the 21st century ...

Inside our mass of humanity, waking-up alone-together ... discovering for ourselves how to bring out the best we have to give.

And -

At breakneck speed ...

Struggling to bring out the best others have to share.

Stepping into a New Direction

Perennials were the stepchild.

Nobody expected anything -

Nobody ever had -

Nobody ever would ...

That all too familiar approach? Do whatever was done last year. Water plants. Bring stragglers - customers set down anywhere in The Garden Center - back to their perennial home base. Complain a lot.

A monotonous routine ...

Until -

One frustrated customer - hanging plant dangling from her hand - made a beeline for Ms Prideful-Manager.

Some coworkers snickered. Others walked away anticipating the tirade sure to come.

Nearly out of breath, Irate Customer dove in: You promised! It's supposed to live. It's bone-dead!

The litany so often heard by now ... the one sure to snare any customer to free The Garden Center from refunding the cost of the plant:

Ms Prideful-Manager - smug smile she couldn't contain - launched into a refund policy long since expired: Guaranteed 7-days from date of purchase. Full replacement or credit. No refund.

But -

Something stuck in my craw.

I came with the keen eye of a lifelong gardener and business acumen. I couldn't hide the gardener part ... Mr General-Manager often boasted how I - as a home owner - visted The Garden Center in the past.

But the business side?

No one knew -

Even if they suspected - when talking with a customer like industry insiders - coworkers had no idea I once saved a Fortune 5 tens-of-millions of dollars rescuing a project all but given up for good.

Self-importance wasn't my reason for being at The Garden Center. Neither was stroking an ego long since untethered from the ranks of beating out the next-in-line just to win the spot to lead.

My focus? Prove it was possible to live from my awakened-self in the everyday world ... the business world no less.

I was incognito.

Learning the ins-and-outs.

In the fortunate position of not looking like a rookie. Having a garden of my own I knew the language ...

And -

Uniquely qualified to gather information from coworkers. No barriers. No hesitancy. Most willing to open up - explain everything without feeling awkward.

A journey of self-discovery -

Unaffected by that political-wrangling inside big business I came into contact with before The Garden Center ...

Or so I hoped.

But -

I was beginning to wonder if I made a mistake.

Irate-Customer was new to gardening. But, no one to nurture her enthusiasm for a budding passion she knew nothing about.

The attitude Ms Prideful-Manager threw in her face was the same manipulative approach left behind inside traditional corporate walls. Stranding Irate-Customer to storm out of The Garden Center feeling dejected. Shaken. Alone.

But -

Not before a happenstance run-in with a coworker in the parking lot. No fanfare. No drama. Quietly, one human being acknowledging another:

Then told how: Every plant needs 3-essentials. Will flourish with the right light - right soil - right amount of water ... unique to every species. 

I felt this strange kinship with a coworker I knew little about. She mirrored what my awakening taught: Tap into the seed hungry to sprout. Nurture it with a dose of understanding. Warm it with a little sunshine of inspiration ... give it a life of its own ...

While Irate-Customer's shoulders unslouched; face softened - smiled.

I was deeply moved.

On the Lookout for Fresh Insights

So much more could be done -

No one seemed to know how -

No one willing to take the initiative ...

I was learning to take my time. Not push. Simply be.

Watch. Listen.

My peers came from different backgrounds. Rich - poor. Educated - or not. Some liked opera. Others jazz. Some had children - others not. It didn't matter ... our common denominator was always plants.

Even so -

Working in The Garden Center was a culture shock.

In a stolen moment - or two - they whispered what was never talked about: If I didn't love plants so much - I'd never come back!

Then snickered how Ms Prideful-Manager boasted; confided the fiasco of her Million-Dollar-May ... before pointing out the signs to be on the lookout for: See those delivery trucks back of the greenhouse? The ones filled to the brim with plants?

Watch ...

We unload tens-of-thousands of annuals every day. No time left on our shift to water. No room inside the greenhouse to transfer them to.

Next day?

Scorching heat. Plants shrivel. New delivery. Tens-of-thousands more. No time to water. Yesterday's plants too dehydrated to offer for sale. Thrown away in the dumpster. 

My business-self wondered how much richer the company might be - without that delivery-to-dumpster throw away route. My gardener-self ached - so many tender innocent plants. My awakened-self knew - there's a different way ...

While -

Eyes rolled. Smirks escaped ... hearing Ms Prideful-Manager's mantra in the background: You gotta have every kind of plant to make our Million-Dollar-May!

And -

The dichotomy.

Perennials were kicked-to-the-curb ... inventory came late - or not at all ... the last to be concerned about.

I tried ...

To open a conversation with Ms Prideful-Manager. Hard-nosed. Set in her ways. No room for anyone who didn't toe her line ...

Never mind creativity. Thinking for yourself.

No one but her.

And -

Never trusted any worker to take the initiative to keep The Garden Center's focus in mind. So I spoke with customers on-the-sly.

Customers!

The only reason The Garden Center existed!

The ones I persisted with: What brings you to The Garden Center? Then listened for their interest. Annuals? Perennials? Maybe a lover of indoor plants ... or occasional person who stopped in just to peruse wind chimes.

I was patient.

Answered questions in as much detail as asked about. And, in return, nearly all opened up with what worked - or didn't - for them.

Slowly, ever so slowly, a pattern emerged. Two types of customers came. The first? A genuine lover of gardening: tending; nurturing; growing along with each plant carefully selected. The second? I buy a plant. Stick it in the ground. It dies. I buy another next year!

And -

An elated Ms Prideful-Manager shrieked: Yes! More money for us!

I took a deep breath ...

An intellectual dance that stretched beyond my thinking mind - and a reminder: stay focused.

Another deep breath ...

An emotional dance that leapfrogged beyond the threat of shaking me off my center - and a reminder: stay focused.

One more deep breath ...

A spiritual dance connecting those 5000-year-old traces of wisdom too long forgotten - and a reminder: stay focused ... How can I live from my awakened-self in everyday life?

Anchoring -

The courage to press on ...

Year Two

Unsure where to start - no one to help ...

I inhaled deeply - standing in the middle of the courtyard - surrounded by the perennials I so cared about.

Remembering ...

How I opened the conversation with Mr General-Manager the year before: Perennials are a thankless job. Ever thought about putting them under someone's wing?

There was never a doubt -

Ms Prideful-Manager would throw roadblocks my way. But counted on she'd be too busy with her Million-Dollar-May to notice what I was doing. Not wanting to bother herself with the stepchild, she wouldn't pay attention until more than half-way through the year.

By that time, I'd know ...

I was either on the road to living from my awakened-self - or not.

So -

I came early hoping to be alone. To saunter through the perennials; listen for the birds to welcome a new day; watch a butterfly - or two - stop by to collect The Garden Center's nectar ...

Maybe -

Catch an insight for the most thankless job I just walked into.

Before -

Remembering ...

How old-time farmers - breaking virgin soil - plow the first row:

Because -

Plowing the first row guides every next one that follows ...

And most important.

So -

I settled down. Settled in. 

Made the rounds -

Pad in hand

Pencil ready

Eagle eye on what needed to be put right

Plants need water

Trimming

Sometimes removing because they're just too straggly for consumer sale

Or need to be rescued from a pest ...

Reaching Across the Divide

Most of the old crew signed on to come back.

Some still working - others not

All with a love of gardening

Plants were their children

All wanted/expected to be told what to do

Fall into last year's routine -

Clock in. Head over to Ms Prideful-Manager. Get instructions: Water hanging baskets. Move those pots from here to there; fill that special order ...

Then come back to Ms Prideful-Manager for the next command after finishing the first.

But -

Nobody talked to each other. Rarely looked at one another or stopped long enough to help a customer. No one smiled in a genuine way ... the universal signal of acceptance - and acknowledgment - one human being gives another.

How was I going to break that cycle? Throw the plow-blade into never-before-tilled virgin soil? Tap into what mattered most ... the discouraging theme discovered the year before when I got to know The Crew as my peer: Management isn't the only one with good ideas!

Besides -

My awakened-self wasn't able to give orders anymore ...

And -

I now had a list ... of everything needing to be done in the perennials that day.

So -

Itemized each task on an unused whiteboard. Divided the list by urgency: Need To Do Today - If Time Allows - What You Noticed.

Then waited.

I was giving birth to a new inclusive approach - one that meant an end to traditional ways. And, preparing myself for a rebellion.

Pick whatever you want to work on first - from the Need To do Today list, I started tentatively. Initial on the left-hand side - so others know it's being worked. When you finish, strike through the task ... then pick another.

I paused ...

Let them absorb the new focus.

No one bulked ... so I pressed on.

If all the top priority list is finished - or taken by somebody else - pick whatever you want from the If Time Allows list. 

Another pause ...

They kept listening.

I kept going.

And, by the way -

You spot something that's not already on this list? Add it to What You Noticed.

They were still with me.

One last thing? I finished up.

When you see a customer? Give them a minute to get their bearings. When it seems like the time is right, ask if there's anything you can help them with.

Overcoming the Impossible

Nearly all embraced the openness:

Became independent

Came early

Took the initiative

Sometimes rearranged special perennial displays in botanical order

Sometimes color

But -

The last of the old crew resisted: I've always followed whatever anybody asks me to do.

It's okay to make a mistake, I recognized Jan's vulnerable spot. There's nothing that can't be corrected.

I want to do what you tell me. But take the initiative on my own? she persisted.

I shared my point-of-view.

Jan, I don't have eyes enough to see everything happening on this tennis-sized courtyard - plus the staging area on the side of the greenhouses when new perennials arrive from The Garden Center farm. 

Her eyes lit up ...

She understood. Willingness is more important than perfection.

I trust you to help me ...

Take a look around. In the beginning, when you see something, write it down. Check with me first before listing it on the whiteboard if you like. You'll build confidence. And slowly see your choices are the same as mine ...

Many times, they'll be even better!

Jan was the last holding on to: I'll do what I'm told but quickly settled into her new focus.

And -

The Crew's bond strengthened.

Momentum picked up ...

Bouncing bigger, better, ideas off each other they became trailblazers ... instinctively knowing when to talk with someone more knowledgeable than I was.

What about pests? Call the resident expert on pesticides. What about identifying a plant from a single leaf the customer brings in? Walk with the customer to The Garden Center Plant Doctor. What about adding to inventory? That would be me. Touch base ...

And -

Felt we were well on our way -

Overhearing one of The Crew whisper to another: I really like what we're creating here ... we've gotten over the divide. Then protested when Ms Prideful-Manager pulled rank - corralling them to work in her annuals for the day.

Because -

We belonged to something greater than working in isolation - we connected with each other ...

And -

That connection spilled over to customers; The Garden Center staff; other employees ... and every third party supplier who stopped by. More than a team, we genuinely cared about helping each other succeed instead of taking credit for ourselves.

Except for one -

Nostalgic for the chaos. Aching for the days when she stayed well-hidden inside the pandemonium - she missed pressuring customers, without being noticed, before snagging them for her private clientele ...

Then purchased plants from The Garden Center - with her employee discount - only to mark them up for the same unsuspecting clients now her own.

Standing My Ground

Month after month - I kept inventory tight

Month after month - happy customers kept coming back

Month after month - I made extra trips to The Garden Center's perennial farm - to bring in more stock ... sometimes selling out before I returned.

But -

I was used to a company profit-and-loss - the financial reconciliation - nowhere in sight ...

Until -

Half-way through the year when word got out: The Garden Center isn't just somewhere to pick up a perennial - it's a destination where you're respected.

And -

Ms Prideful-Manager noticed.

What started out looking naïve puzzled her. Impossible to imagine: You love coming to work every day? Couldn't understand: A job can bring out the best you have to give? Didn't fathom: Employees think about what they do - and how that affects everyone around them? 

A threatened Ms Prideful-Manager retaliated -

Hellbent on destroying my credibility. Spending the next three months unearthing The Garden Center's Profit and Loss Statement - secreted away - sure to prove I squandered company resources.

She wheedled management. Cajoled the owners; went so far as to sweet talk the accountant - once known in the far distant past - before intimidating him into slipping revenue numbers her way.

By then, it was too late.

She'd exposed her fixation ...

And -

Her jealous-self had nowhere left to hide.

Sitting across the table - surrounded by staff and owners - listening to bottom-line numbers certified by The Garden Center accountant ... Ms Prideful-Manager glared.

Month-after-month perennial earnings increased. Month-after-month perennial return - above and beyond expenses - showed revenue growth. Year-over-year for more than a decade - perennials realized lackluster financial gain ...

Except the current year.

The perennial department exceeded the prior year's profit by thirty-three percent!

All eyes were on me ... and their quizzical expressions telegraphed: How can that be possible?

Later in the day ...

I left The Garden Center smiling.

Those lowly little perennials - nobody cared about - made a statement of their own. Ignored. Neglected. Waiting for a present mind to chat with that long-ago past mind to wake-up a future not yet envisioned. 

Waiting ...

For the indominable human spirit -

And -

People who tackle the impossible - to let their example show the way.

This One-Less Traveled Road Isn't Finished Yet ...

I lost my best fried - my one-of-a-kind special bonding dog - that cold wintery day. The day the veterinarian's voice turned steely. That fateful day I held my precious Buddy in my arms one last time.

Then -

Reached for the treat inside my pocket; laid it by his side; whispered softly: a tribute to you, My Friend, in honor of your joy with life before one final tender stroke-of-gratitude.

But -

What I never lost?

The gift inside that heartbreak.

The gentleness ... that sooths every complaint. The calm ... that quiets every doubt. I drank the compassion in with each fresh new breath ... that, to this day, shows me how to look at the world through the eyes of loving-kindness ...

The link connecting humanity together. 

You're Not Finished Either!

You listen -

Between the cracks of mountain boulders. Inside the mist of a water-sogged day; to the wind - for that pierce of a dove's coo ...

All weeping their sad refrain: Morn what has passed -

Before -

The silence whispers: Wake-up to the promise of a new day.

The same yearning inside an anonymous note - tucked under my Thinking Stone - on the greenhouse desk: I will miss your wisdom. Better yet I'll find it.

Acknowledging -

That whisper between the words. The whisper showing how to bring gentleness into everything said and done; teach how to weave - what seems like - two mutually exclusive hemispheres together ... 

To leave the planet a little better than you found it.