No one escapes waking-up ...   

A permanent insight is different -

It remembers that sacred inner world; translates each nook-and-cranny of compassion; slips into love-without-condition ...

And -

Never goes away. 

I've experienced both.    

The first thing you should know about me? 

I was blindsided ...

By an irreversible awakening -

And -

That awakening's permanent shift changed my life.  

I let go of talking about the spiritual life ...

Let go of my career after decades as a computer engineer - while honing the business side of technology - before joining management.

Instead -

I set out to walk the spiritual talk ...

Immerse myself in the experience my awakening had to teach. Chart a trail deep inside its inner landscape only to discover a knack for innate healing - before coming out the other side willing to share the journey with others who wonder: Now that I'm waking up - what do I do?   

The second thing you should know?

Nobody handed me a roadmap.   

Waking-up happens to everyone ...

No matter what you believe or how deeply you believe it.   

Waking-up happens regardless of self-development; spiritual practices or how long you've followed either, both or neither. It happens in spite of how healthy or unhealthy you are; how self-confident or self-doubting.

Waking-up doesn't depend on anything ... 

Because -

The shift is natural. Simple. But easy to miss even among deeply spiritual people because of what they think it's supposed to be like.

The key?

Willingness to see the world differently ...

Through innocent eyes. Open heart. So the deepest part of life can lead to a peaceful place in a simple straightforward way.

Waking-up is what you were born to do.

And -

This guide: The Lost Art of Radical-Love : One Ultimate Path to Awaken By is one simple journey but not the only road.

In reality?

There are as many paths to wake-up as people on the Earth. Each one - led from the innermost core of who you truly are; nature; or someone who's walked-the-talk - shows how to come out the other side better for the experience in a good way.   

Spiritual travelers discover a little-known secret ...

Experience matters.

Telling you about a gopher hole or reading a description isn't the same as finding a gopher burrowing a tunnel in your backyard. 

You can ignore that gopher giving birth to a litter-of-three. Even its first litter-of-three building burrows five weeks later.

But -

When you discover new litters born every three weeks; each gopher living two maybe three years ... 

You've got a challenge!

Walking the spiritual road is like that gopher hole. Innocent enough at first. Until you realize there's something you need to pay attention to but have no idea what to do.

What makes a difference?

Daring to figure that mystery out.

Now let me assure you ...

When traveling the highways and byways of spirituality you'll try many times and fail. But trying is cumulative. Every next attempt won't be so hard because you've accumulated a mass of experience to draw from.

Why try at all?

Over time -

Spiritual travelers - the curious as well as more serious seeker - make a ground-breaking discovery ...

They no longer wallow in irritation, aggravation and frustration - the stressors and separators of life. Come out the other side more peaceful, calm and content than before opening-up to an inner exploration.

And -

Along the way grasp their new undeniable reality. Crossing the bridge toward an ever-evolving loving kindness connects humanity together ...

A lost art.   

Your Journey

The Struggle

Every night he calls. 

Every night you hear him distance himself -

From the memory ...

Of how his face lit up when you surprised him with a night out on the New York town.

From the memory ...

Of sauntering into his favorite restaurant; losing yourselves inside a conversation, so intense, both slipped into a zone neither experienced before.

From the memory ...

Of that sliver-of-a-Nanosecond transporting the two of you into a place so peaceful, so serene, it stayed unaffected by everything else still moving around you.

But -

The more you tap into that slice-of-waking-up the more he closes you out. Pointing instead to worldly things: arguments with friends; conflicts with the boss; never having enough - 

Until he stops calling. 

The Fight

Decisions are draining.

Every day you make hundreds. From small ones: What happened to my keys? ... to big ones: Should I get a divorce?  

The problem? 

Brains only cope with a handful of things at one time. So you take shortcuts ... argue with whoever moved those keys; complain about your partner. You're right. They're wrong. End of story. After all everybody else does it that way! and you move on.

But -

What happens?

What you don't know? You're ignoring the salient most important issue. So, frustration mounts; stress accelerates ... you talk faster hoping to outmaneuver whatever's so annoying.

Stonewalling gives you permission to turn a deaf ear; stop listening; settle for: good enough! Sidestepping the inconvenience of letting-go gives you an excuse to just get through life.  

The Choice

Once in a while ...

A sliver-of-silence intervenes, it's peacefulness surreal. Nestled inside that stillness is an insight - a breakthrough promising to overcome the everybody else does it that way! reasoning -

And -

Opens the door to a decision. 

On the one hand you can ignore that moment-of-awakening. Hold on to what you've always done; become vulnerable to every little irritation threatening a deep dive into depression so endemic in the modern-day world. 

Or -

On the other hand you become a pioneer. Strike out on your own; dare to blaze-a-trail into the frontier of a new inner landscape challenging your everybody else does it that way first-line of defense.  

So You Dig

The Problem

That sliver-of-silence inviting you to wake-up is an experience the human mind will never understand.

Yet -

It happened.

Books can't describe that peaceful place. Blogs are less than helpful. Even speakers you never get a chance to talk to leave you asking more questions instead of answering ones you've already got.

But -

You're determined.

There must be an explanation. 

You want to meet a real person, one who's traveling the spiritual road. Not a superficial wannabe. Not a seasoned guru. Just an ordinary person same as you. Someone who can make sense of that sliver-of-a-Nanosecond transporting you into a peaceful place so indescribable it stayed untouched no matter what else swirled around it. 

So -

You set out to find that someone.

The problem?

Where to go? How to get in touch with somebody once puzzled by so many unknowns just like you. Someone willing to go against everybody else insisting your experience never happened.

Just one person to ask: How do I walk-the-talk?      

The Answer

Everybody's working their job plus spillover from furloughed staff. The career that built a life used to be a joy.

But -

You're in lockstep now ...

With the microbe that first appeared on the face of the Earth just a few short months ago.

Crisis justifies demand. Demand emboldens the company to drip emails day-and-night. Never-ending tasks hurl into cyberspace whipping you into compliance 24/7. Responsibilities once predictable morph into a borderless job forcing you to work so you can live. 

Until -

You throw up your hands, stomp out of your online office nestled inside its urban-berg: Too much to do! Too little time. Nobody left to help. 

On top of it all? That procrastinator won't stop pestering!  

So - 

In the middle of the day, you take a break - a quick hour or so - to walk, clear your head, breathe in the cool crisp air ... Just a few blocks down and back! 

You pass the baker, florist, tiny cigar store curiously tucked between multinational corporate towers all gone dark. In the far distance, one lone parent tows her sniveling son maybe going to or coming from the neighborhood grocer ... his chocolate morsels long since gone. And, oh yes, there's that tucked-away park just before the overpass nobody goes to now.

What you didn't expect?

Soaring evergreen waving above those deciduous trees nearly invisible except to the most discerning eye. 

And -

Transported by that fleeting glimpse into the childhood forest you once roamed. Sunshine streaming through low-hanging bough; fresh pine scent; pristine quiet.

How peaceful ... 

How comforting remembering Yet-to-Be.

Yet-to-Be who didn't talk much but once admitted: Was always quiet. Most said I was shy - didn't know I was just hanging back taking in the world.  

Then -

Discovered wise-beyond-years when you dared to ask: How do I know I've got something more to learn?   

Yet-to-Be shrugged: Still aggravates you!  

The Obstacle

It's true ...

You're only one person inside our multibillion-strong human family blanketing planet Earth today ...

But -

Beyond all those differences everyone shares a common longing. How can I create a peaceful life? instead of getting lost inside the upheaval that's left chaos in its path.   

So - 

You do the only thing you can. Scour the place you're intimately familiar with ... the people whose lives you touch and are touched by. The ones who support your dreams and vision for a better life.

And -

In that nucleus, come those who threaten to undermine you too. If that procrastinator would just stop annoying me! you think or say. 

That's your signal.

Not to change the procrastinator, instead, take a hard look at yourself. How are you misreading him? But wait just a minute, you argue, he's annoying me. That's what's causing my aggravation!    

You're absolutely right. That annoyance is causing your aggravation not him.

There's a difference.         

The Beginning

In the cocoon ...

A caterpillar dissolves organs needed to crawl, chew, digest leaves. New fluids transform into muscles, eyes and a pair of delicate wings so it can fly, collect nectar.

And -

Like the promise of that butterfly waiting to emerge, you need courage to wake-up.

So you can: 

When you do?

You're never agitated by that annoyance again. 

Now -

That doesn't mean people with those qualities disappear. Guaranteed they won't!  But you'll see those characteristics in a different light. 

It's like noticing that evergreen forest just beyond those deciduous trees near the overpass. Your perception changes. There's a new depth to how you see what you're observing; the invisible becomes visible.

And -

No longer have a negative reaction to that irritation. It doesn't faze you anymore.     

The Missing-Link

Unlike a chimpanzee ...

A Bonobo Primate lives in peace going for hugs instead of jugular vein.

And, like a Bonobo -

Who helps without being asked ... you tap into the natural innate ability you were born with. No skill required. No prior experience necessary. Available to anyone willing to free the compassion lying dormant in every human being.

Like a Bonobo -

Who doesn't succumb to conflict ... you create common ground that interacts with others peaceably instead.

But -

Poles apart from a Bonobo -

Your thinking mind struggles. It doesn't know how to hold on to that sliver-of-silence waking you up so you can let go of any frustration standing in the way.  

Now You Scrutinize

The Quiet

Like an eagle ... 

Perched on the ledge of its stick-nest - 

That sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up ...

While ...

Embracing you in its loving-kindness - assuring you of the bedrock beneath your everyday world.

And -

You long for more.  

The Nameless

Nobody knows ... 

How to reopen a shuttered globe. Nobody knows how to contain the virus.

Nobody. Knows.

Not the rich Gates-ians stepping in to lead far-away from cities microbes ravage. Not the sheltered-in-place middle class Zooming calls to preserve those jobs that can be saved. Not the dire working-class laboring inside wheels-of-supply so people have enough to eat.

Nobody knows looms large.

You dance with fear. Slip into anger; give way to bouts of sadness ...

Because -

Everybody knows nothing will ever be the same again.

Everybody knows nobody knows how to chart the world from here to there. 

Everybody. Knows. 

We're all in this together forced to find ways to work with one another equally and with respect.

Except The Procrastinator! 

Endless excuses. Stalling maneuvers. Dodging commitments toying with your fate: Lackadaisical nematode! I'm sick and tired of those empty promises by now.  

Masks are hard to come by. So are protective gloves.

You argue. Sweet-talk - even plead anything to signal The Procrastinator you're counting on his word. Nothing stops him: Get 'em at a discount! Nothing changes the predictable: Be here tomorrow! Nothing protects you from trusting his untrustiness. 

And -

You're unnerved. 

That sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up asked you to let-go believing the outer world is all there is. But nobody talks about an inner world. Not the news. Not in sports. Not at work.

You're at a loss.

But -

There just has to be an escape from that soul-sucking grip The Procrastinator's tangled you in.

And -

Only one person who won't laugh at you for wanting to try to find it.    

The Hush

Nobody talks about the secrets ...

Hidden deep inside the hinterland Yet-to-Be once described: Where the sun stretches corn higher than a six-foot man can reach; breeze bends fields of wheat into cascading waves - 

Before confessing -

Was the worst of times, everybody was too busy for what I had to say. Was the best of times, nobody paid any attention to what I did. 

And -

You brace yourself ...

For Yet-to-Be's morsel-of-wisdom so elusive to everyone else.

On a warm sunny day, I'd pass by that rickety old barn on my way to the crick. Wasn't called a creek back home. Was a good old-fashioned crick. Spent more hours there than with my family ...

Played 'til the cows came down the windy path. That was my signal. Was time to go home myself. 

You learned long ago ...

Yet-to-Be takes whatever time needed to wrap you inside the tale you're ready to hear - 

Sometimes -

I'd lean against Old Grandfather Tree.

Now and again he'd whisper. Never said much. Just enough to nudge me so I could climb out of the rut I was in. Teachings I was sure my kin would have told if they had had time for me.

Yet-to-Be ...

Living from the best part of what a human can become always set time aside for you.

When life gets too hard, I go back to that childhood crick in my mind. Hear water trickle over river-rock; breeze brush against my cheek; and Old Grandfather Tree talk to me again.   

The Invisible

Mistakes are easy ... 

Expecting an exciting get-together was fun at first. The anticipation. Excitement. You even agreed: Sure. I'll come. Then justified endless plans, broken promises.

The Procrastinator just moved. Too many things to do, not enough time to do them in: Can happen to anybody!  

Over time - 

History taught you. Procrastination overwhelms The Procrastinator. Now you're extra cautious ...

But -

Talking to a tree to keep yourself from being provoked over The Procrastinator's indecisiveness? 

Was little then ...

Knee-high to a grasshopper. Iggled and wiggled because I was so happy exploring all life had in store for me.

But -

Between my squeals I was missing what nature had to teach. So every time I came to the crick, Old Grandfather Tree listened to my happiness. When he was satisfied I was exhausted he asked me to do the same for him.

Was hard at first. Most times, he didn't say anything. I didn't know what to do. Wanted him to tell me all I got was silence. 

So -

Stuck out my tongue to taste the air. Bent down to brush my hand across blades of grass growing greener in the shade. Looked into the sun - like I knew I wasn't supposed to - then listened for the birds to chirp to guess how far away they were. 

"Why doesn't he just tell me what to do?" I finally blurted into the wind.

That's when I caught it ...

A little leaf amble down the stream; bump into a rock; slide around it before stopping in front of me. You know how excited a little puppy gets when it wants you to do something? That's how little leaf looked.

So -

I gave it the exasperation I was feeling with Old Grandfather Tree before it floated on by. Down by the bend in the curve that little leaf twirled then stopped just sure it was looking at me.    

The Crossing

The world's oblivious ...

To possibilities most people can't comprehend.

If you told friends to put whatever's irritating them on a leaf, they'd think you lost your mind. Telling them a leaf can see imbecilic.   

That's when I heard it ...  

Same kind of whisper I'd get from Old Grandfather Tree when he decided there was something I ought to know.

This time ...

Was that little leaf I almost couldn't hear. 

"Thank you," it tickled the spaces between the words I was thinking, "for putting your trust in me."

Can't tell you how long I stood there feeling all happy inside. Wasn't alone anymore in a world not always kind to me.

Old Grandfather Tree let me be ...

Imagine if he could have smiled, he would have 'bout then. Finally, just to be sure I didn't miss what I was to know - I heard a little wisp come from him: "There you are." 

I knew ...

I just learned an important lesson I wasn't to forget.    

The Calm

You're sheltered in place ... 

Not at-risk. No underlying condition so venture out to make a restock-run. Hundred-foot-long grocer queue; one-third capacity; three-foot distance. One-way arrows taped on every aisle floor -

Before you swing into the check-out lane ...

And -

You're trapped.

Toiletries by the armful. Milk by the gallon. Boxes, bottles, cans - frozen food - heap two carts brimmed to overflowing by the hoarder waiting in front of you! 

Now - 

You're stuck ...

Alone with your outraged, irritated, cranky-self: The audacity. How dare she! Who does she think she is? If-only I could escape. Switch to a fast lane ... eject your churning-self out of the tsunami you're swimming in. If-only I could turn that screeching store-song off; if only I could lay my agitated-self on top of Little Leaf ...

When -

If-only's melt into what-if's.

What-if The Hoarder's a designated shopper protecting the family from exposure? What-if she safeguards neighbors from harm's way. Or, quarantined elderly? 

What-if ... 

Until -

What-if's fade into a stillness - so peaceful, so serene - you're unaffected by everything else swirling around you ...

And know -

You just learned an important lesson you're not to forget.   

The Seeker

When spirituality becomes a priority ...

The journey as a spiritual seeker begins - 

You sift through everything once taught; realize you don't fit in; and are left with doubts ... yearning to discover where you do belong. You're in the betwixt-and-between. No longer able to blindly justify: Well, everybody else does it that way!   

But -

Unsure how to make the most of that sliver-of-a-Nanosecond just opened-up to you. So you follow your instinct; let intuition interpret what its wisdom seems to ask; experience a calmer, more peaceful - happier - way to live ... 

And -

In time ...

Notice an ever-growing sense of love - far greater than the love the media exploits - that satisfies your longing with every next insight you follow.    

The Groundbreaking

A multi-ton elephant believes it can't escape ... 

No chain holds it. No cage contains it. No attempt to move beyond the length of a tiny rope tied to its front leg - no bigger than used during baby-calf training days.

That elephant stays ensnared.

Homo sapiens are different.

What sets human beings apart from other species? The ability to reason. Draw conclusions. Break away from beliefs, habits, attitudes that stifle freedom. Logic decides what needs to change.

But -

Changing your mind isn't enough ...

Because -

You can't think your way into waking-up. Thinking describes ... never experiences.

And - 

Waking-up is an experience. 

So -

You're blindsided. As you wake-up, the intellect tries to understand. Can't. And, you're left to grapple with: How do I become that sliver of peacefulness staying so calm?

While you figure out how to ...

In short -

The thinking mind doesn't know how to translate your experience of waking-up - so you can let the deepest part of life lead you instead. 

The Inside-Out

Seeing life differently is impossible ... 

Unless -

You're willing to experiment. 

How can you understand the taste of a kiwi fruit if you've never eaten fruit? Never tasted a succulent peach. Or, how tart a lime can be.

You can't ...

Your thinking mind can only describe a kiwi - never interpret its flavor.

In the same way -

How can you understand that sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up if you never felt compassion? Never experienced peace. Or, loving-kindness.

You can't ... 

Your thinking mind can only acknowledge an unexplainable something appeared ... never unravel intangibles.

Because -

Intangibles can only be sensed; come from the inside-out ... reachable with a spiritual-intention -

And -

Different from a worldly goal. An everyday aim focuses on an observable outcome ... walk on the beach; buy a new car; plant a rose.

That outer objective is easy to recognize. It answers what. What do I want to do ... change ... improve?  

On the other hand ...

A spiritual-intention answers how. How do I want that everyday tangible goal to appear in my life?   

And how starts with an intangible.   

So You Hunt

The Secret

Like that split second ... 

When a riverboat stands stock-still while the shoreline moves -

The steadiness of an intangible transforms confusion into mental clarity. Frustration, irritation and aggravation into emotional calm ...

But -

How do you separate intangibles from negative thought?

Let's start at the beginning ...

Human emotions merge into five major groupings: 

Fear and anger create glum thoughts. Sadness - if left unchecked - swings into gloomy views too. They're acquired reactions ... learned from life experience.

It's true -

Fear, anger - and sadness veering into negative-leaning intent - are imperceptible. Can't be seen - or touched. Can only be sensed ... come from the inside out just like love and joy.

The difference?

Love and joy are the only two natural emotions you and I were born with. They're innate ... and break-down destructive thought.

Think of it this way -

Innate intangibles neutralize anti-hope filled feelings. When they become the lens through which the world is viewed - composure and a sense of peace return -

Because -

Love and joy are the healers - the healers that wake us up.  

The Direction

Like the wind ... 

Blowing a breeze through your hair - 

The universal flow-of-life carries love and joy. When challenged by an earthly habit, belief or attitude - arguing against those two natural inborn responses - a tug-of-war occurs.

Thoughts - not aligned with love and joy - surface; a fight for control emerges. Negative reactions battle against the next Nanosecond - promising to wake you up ... determined to keep you from expanding that ever-increasing love in your heart. 

Until -

You stop the impasse. 

How? 

Stress is the tattletale! 

It's a good sign when you're frustrated; can't think straight or life's hectic ...

Because -

Tucked deep inside the chaos-of-confusion; well-hidden beneath berating-doubt ... buried far below any harbinger-of-fret lies a message from the innate love and joy that's your birthright to live from:

It's time to pay attention!    

The Roadblock

Everything's shuttered ... 

Everything's rattled to its core -

Everything's ravaged by a microscopic spiked ball - with an infectious jab - smashing the globe in its grip!

And -

Everybody's tuckered out.

Tired of canceling once-in-a-life celebrations; tired of rescheduling vacations. Tired of missing people ... unable to gather with friends at a restaurant is a lot to bear - so is not seeing family.

Nobody told you -

You'd - one day - lose out to an invisible enemy with the upper hand. Nobody told you those first we'll get through this optimistic months would - one day - take you to the brink. Nobody told you sheer raw fear would - one day - shake you in your shoes!

You're out of touch ...

On your own - feeling very much alone. Abandoned by the customs you once expected to live by. Abandoning those closest to you ...

Until -

That feel-not-so-good feeling claws at your gut.

Everything's in shambles. 

Everything's ripped apart.

EVERYTHING!

Except -

How Yet-to-Be once comforted you.  

The Code

You're stymied ... 

By lots of things not fazing other people -

Like how to step inside that sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up. How to protect yourself from slipping into woe-is-me complaining. How to stop The Procrastinator from pushing his make-no-sense ways onto you ... insisting - in the middle of a pandemic no less - you volunteer at the foodbank ...

With him! 

You worry. 

About The Procrastinator's promises made ... promises broken mantra. About his disingenuousness ... telegraphing he won't keep his side of the bargain. 

Worry you're not strong enough to keep from sinking into his put-things-off-until-a-day-that'll-never-come black hole. 

On the other hand -

You're touched.   

Family, friends ... strangers - who never ask for help and don't know how - stripped of their I-can-do-it-on-my-own veneer. Living in the pause between survival and crisis ... quietly lining up to ask for food. 

Ordinary people just like you.

They could be you.  

The Find

Everybody tells you ... 

Forget about it! Nobody else does it that way. 

They don't understand. 

Once in love with the sound of your own voice. Feisty. Hotheaded ... a tinge of recklessness. You watch Yet-to-Be speak with a soft voice; compassion ... a raw intimacy people respond to. 

Yet-to-Be's learned ... 

The fork-in-the-road takes courage. Free-will decides the path you choose; experience chisels you into the person you become. 

Yet-to-Be's not perfect ...

Life's not perfect. Life's about reaching out; daring to try ... embrace the unknown. 

And -

Yet-to-Be knows ... 

Surviving the pandemic's not: Turn a blind eye. Get over it! Just move on. It's harnessing the will to look inward ... come out the other side - better than before you started. 

Today's the tomorrow yesterday forgot ... the yesterday impossible to redo. You're birthing a new you; long to find a way out of what promises to be the no-way you're trapped inside ...

And - 

Only one person who can help.   

Now You Grasp

The Willing

Like a hummingbird ... 

Hovering midair - vibrating its pulsing wings -

That sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up: 

While ... 

Embracing you in its loving-kindness - assuring you of the foundation beneath your everyday world - 

Until -

You yearn for more.    

The Innocence

Zoom fatigued ... 

Human touch deprived - you're a prisoner of your mind.

Before coronavirus ...

The Procrastinator planned a get-together. When the virus jolted into a scarcity crisis ... he promised masks - gloves. Eclipsed into a pandemic ... he schemes.  

Imagine that!

Can you believe it?

Now The Procrastinator wants me to volunteer at the foodbank. He's like a pesky little gnat I can't reason with - and won't go away! 

Yet-to-Be knows ...

When there's nowhere left to hide ... life teaches who you are; what you're made of -

Or -

Sweeps you into an endless whine. 

Didn't get to the store much - at least not in the country.  

You breathe a sigh of relief ... 

Then brace yourself -

For those tiny morsels-of-wisdom no one else seems to know about - 

First time I went, I saw things my wildest imagination couldn't piece together ... like milk in a bottle. Ours was in a pitcher - most times still warm - coming direct from the cow.

When I saw white eggs, I wondered, "Why would anybody eat something coming from a sick hen!" Our speckled hens laid brown ones. "And what's that butter doing copying the sun?" Butter came from skimming the cream that rose to the top of the milk when you let it sit long enough after milking. It was maybe creamy-white - but yellow like a yolk!

You squirm ...

Fidget. Want to run away!

What does milk in a pitcher, brown eggs, white butter - in an old-time store you can't relate to - have to do with fixing The Procrastinator? 

Then there were those little pieces of - what the sign called - "bubble gum" at the checkout counter. Wrappers covered in pictures of red and blue balloons on waxy paper as soft as my cheek when I touched it. I was happy to see a whole boxful. There'd be plenty for everybody who came by - so I just stuffed a few in my pocket.  

The Puzzle

Yet-to-Be's reluctant ... 

To confide a once-upon-a-time wound ... rarely exposing vulnerable places healed long ago. 

When I saw my folks take goods they collected and lay them in front of the clerk, I waited to see what she did. At first I thought it was funny picking every piece up then laying it down again: "Why does she have to have a look see what they got?" 

When PaPa handed her some money, I figured there was more to it I didn't understand yet. I heard my folks hurt each other with words when there wasn't enough - and one or the other hadn't been careful. Never could get more out of it. So I decided money was hard to come by and PaPa wouldn't just give it away. 

Yet-to-Be knows ...

World-class arguments won't change your mind. 

The top of my head didn't reach as high as that counter - me being on the other side of the lady touching each piece. I hoped I was too short for her to see - because I was getting that awful feeling: "Maybe I did something wrong." 

By then ... 

I couldn't figure out which part wasn't right so I could undo it. "Maybe if I'm real quiet," I bargained with myself. Then slipped behind my folks without anybody noticing. 

I needed time to sort it out so I could make amends. 

The Effort

Yet-to-Be knows ... 

Nature's as close as you can get - anywhere on Earth - to find the way to your deep down inside-self where you truly live.

And -

Only way out of the predicament you're caught inside. 

So I put my sadness in my hand; passed that rickety old barn where the chickens roosted and headed for Old Grandfather Tree. 

"My first trip to the store left me feeling not so good," I chose my words carefully. "MaMa put all the cans and dry goods in the pantry. PaPa carried what needed cold storage to the root cellar. When the guilt got so bad I finally took my worries to those supposed to care about helping me understand. 

"I'm old enough to know two wrongs don't make a right," I told Old Grandfather Tree. Then admitted how let down I felt when nobody listened, "What am I supposed to do when I don't know whatever I did was wrong?" 

You're edgy ...

How ludicrous!

Talking to a tree - or anything else in nature - to get wisdom, answers, insights back! 

All I got from him was silence. By that time, I knew I'd have to get real quiet before he could teach what I needed to know.  

What you don't know? 

Yet-to-Be's teaching you. Let the answer come to you in its right time ...

Right way -

And -

This one pressing further than you might want to go - 

In my littleness - it was hard. 

I was still exploring all the treasures life had to show me.

So, I rubbed the palm of my hand across Old Grandfather Tree's root jutting out of the ground. Teased an ant - making it go 'round my little finger instead of the direction it was headed. Stared downside up into branches thicker than a tractor wheel.  

I wanted to scream at Old Grandfather Tree, "Just tell me what to do!"

But -

He'd already taught me getting more agitated wouldn't help. I'd have to get quieter still. That's when I'd find what I needed to know.

So - 

I tipped my head back to let it rest against his trunk - hoping that would stop my fidget fit.

The sun made my eyes squint into those little slits that make you focus like wide open ones don't. That's when I noticed it. The other side of the crick ... how meadow grasses rustled. Stopped. No wind was blowing. Then wiggled again.

Wasn't long before I saw an animal scurry my way - before our eyes met.

I waited.

Waited.

Then waited some more ...

Finally my impatience blurted out: "What am I supposed to do?" because that was the most important question on my mind. 

"Henry," it whispered back. 

Can't tell you how long I stood there feeling all happy inside. Wasn't alone anymore in a world not always kind to  me. 

Old Grandfather Tree let me be ...

Imagine if he could have smiled, he would have 'bout then. Finally, just to be sure I didn't miss what I was to know - I heard a little wisp from him: "There you are." 

I knew ...

I just learned an important lesson I wasn't to forget. 

The Stretch

Yet-to-Be once told ... 

Long-ago stories -

About Old Farmer Man Henry lending a hand to bail hay, build fences - sheer sheep. How: He took a liking to me like I did to him - not having a real GrandPa anywhere near.

He was like my nature friends - 

There wasn't anything I could say that made him shake his head telling me he didn't want to hear it - like I saw him do with his farm hands sometimes. He was there when I needed to sort things out.  

This time - 

Yet-to-Be went to him. 

Henry talked a long time ... 

About stores. How life got so big nobody could make all the things they wanted themselves anymore. Everybody had some kind of work; got money for what they did. Then took it to buy what they couldn't get any other way. 

"I got a big problem," I complained to Henry - like I almost never did. "Don't have money. Not old enough to work. How am I going to pay for what isn't mine?" 

That's when Henry asked if I'd be brave enough to admit my mistake to the man I hurt most.  

The Release

It's obvious ... 

There's a disconnect -

Maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you underestimated The Procrastinator. Maybe if you reason with him ...

Tell him how he's hurting you. Let him know he keeps you from moving on with things important to you. Explain how shattered promises at the foodbank would be one too many rejections for you to bear ...

Before -

The Procrastinator throws his keys on the table with a loud thud. Cuts you off in a huff. Stops you in your tracks.

Alone with your startled - exasperated - frazzled-self: Really?

If-only I could break free. Break away ... break your desperate-self out of the gridlock tying you to him. If-only I could get through The Procrastinator's stubbornness. If-only I could lay my frantic-self on top of Little-Leaf ...

When - 

If-only's melt into an insight.

An insight ... The Procrastinator and you are in the same pandemic having a different experience. An insight ... You want peace instead of loggerheads! An insight ... That pendant-of-a-dog - swinging on his keychain - might be a clue.  

It's then -

Insights fade into a stillness - so peaceful, so serene - you're unaffected by everything else swirling around you ...

And know -

You just learned an important lesson you're not to forget.  

The Quest

As a seeker of the spiritual path ...

You mature as your journey unfolds. An ever-expanding love that frees you takes hold; integrates with everything you say and do.

And -

Over time ...

Cultivates customs nearly unknown in today's modern-day world:

While -

Focused on transmuting your annoyance - instead of changing the person who irritates you so much.  

The Breakaway

Reading a book about computers ...

Isn't the same as getting that instant feedback when you use one.

Even then -

Computers have limitations.

Hardware's the material casing. Software functions as codes instruct ...

But -

A computer can never create an experience of it's own. Never fathom an emotion. Never detect that feel-not-so-good feeling unique to human beings ...

That same feel-not-so-good feeling - bringing situations and people into your life - waiting for you to resolve whatever disturbs you. That same deep in-your-gut feel-not-so-good feeling not going away ...

Until -

You turn your thinking inside-out.

Computers exist in the everyday outside-world. So do you. Computers take direction from you. Your brain does too ...

But -

You have the advantage.

As a human being your thinking mind's able to let go of predefined constrictions - so it can cross the bridge into your inside-world. The place where instructions come from your innermost-self.

And -

Moving across that threshold means learning a new set of skills. 

The Respect

As you travel your spiritual road ...

You'll meet many people who wrestle with: I see someone. Spot something wrong. How can I accept them in spite of that wrong?

Let's start at the beginning ...

Human beings uncover their innermost journey in four ways:  

Thinking uses the intellectual mind to mull things over ... 

Service uses our strengths and abilities to help someone else ...

Meditation uses our innermost wisdom to look beyond any outer appearance ...

Thinking. Service. Meditation ... all aim for the same outcome. All lead to the same transformer: to love for the sake of loving asking nothing in return.

While -

Love uses intangibles to extend tender-heartedness ...

Most people - in Western cultures - lean toward intellectual reasoning to think through the ins-and-outs first. For some - it's more natural to offer a helping hand; others meditate for inner direction.

But -

How do you cross the bridge into love-without-condition?

Compassion.

The compassion from experience. The compassion that transmutes negative thought; heals feel-not-so-good feelings; leads to an ever-expanding deeper more peaceful part of life ...

Unconditional love.

The journey a few make directly.

Thinking. Service. Meditation. Love.

Whichever approach someone uses doesn't make one person better than - or less than - any other. Doesn't mean you don't evaluate situations.

Of course you do. You're human. That's our human way. It's even okay to look at somebody else and say: That's not for me. As long as you stay neutral; don't interject an emotional hook of your own ...

Your observation becomes an ethical appraisal. 

So You Search

The Little-Known

Like a laser beam ...

Your two innate intangibles - love and joy - break through barriers thought builds up.

But -

Be careful!

The most important - salient - question?

When Zak eliminates the people he chooses to exclude from his life ... does he accept their decisions are right-choices for them?

Or -

In spite of his outer appearance-of-acceptance ...

Does Zak stew like a seething cesspool beneath the surface: Self-righteous snobs! Arrogant misfits! The world would be better off without their dark side!

The Trail

It's impossible ...

To see the genuine person behind any annoying habit -

Unless -

You look beyond that 10% of your human mind used for the world's outside reality. The same 10% making up most of the logical intellectual brain.

Now don't get me wrong ...

It's important to remember when taxes are due. Stop at an intersection's red light - or take the car to a shop for an oil change. Those tasks keep everyday life running smoothly.

What about the other 90%?

That's where those natural innate emotions - love and joy - are found. It's your birthright to access this unknown territory ... 

And -

When you do?

You'll discover -

The way you interpret someone else's actions changes your perception of them. A shift that lets you know ...

I've got something more to learn - about myself.

The Quandary

The world rushes ...

To contain a biological threat.

Some show empathy. Take responsibility ... wear a mask; social distance; wash hands - avoid large crowds ... willing to quarantine; monitor symptoms; contact trace should the need arise.

Others gather together; hug; laugh shoulder-to-shoulder at maskless events ... a slap in the global catastrophe's care-about-each-other face.

Choices have consequences!

You're all in this with one another - trapped by a common enemy that knows no border -

And -

Yearn to share the vision: This is who we are; this is our goal; this is our plan to achieve it. Invisible threads that turn in tandem ... none lose character; none forfeit uniqueness. Connectivity stitched together; a cover that comforts ... the bond you long for with The Procrastinator.

Reigning him in didn't work. Pointing out the error of his ways didn't either ...

How am I misreading him?

The Possible

Nobody expected ...

To carry the brunt of the pandemic.

Not the Young

Losing social interaction ...

Blocked from finding their place in the world.

Children miss friends - grieve birthday parties, school dances, sporting events. Teenagers are supposed to redefine themselves - detach from family - spend time with peers.

Disrupted pivotal steps - as they discover the person they're becoming.

Not the 20-30 Something's

Getting the wind knocked out of them ...

Stalled trying to establish themselves.

They're supposed to shape their place in life - create professional/social connections; financial/living independence; pursue interests/passions.

Disrupted pivotal steps - that bring meaning to life at a critical age.

Not the 40-50 Something's 

Saddled with stress ...

Pushed to the edge.

They're supposed to build careers - raise children - assume ever-increasing responsibilities ... advance in the job; reach important goals; invest wisely.

Disrupted pivotal steps - upend life-experience on every front.

Not the 60-70 Something's

Fearing exposure ...

Increased danger with every decade lived.

Surviving recessions, depressions - the polio pandemic ... they're supposed to lead the way - model how to cope with uncertainty. Not hunker down, shelter-in-place - afraid to plunge into out-of-control infectiousness.

Disrupted pivotal steps - undermine mature adults modeling crisis confidence.

Not the Elders

Waiting to be asked ...

Separated from contact.

Enough longevity to know what-to-share when ... they're supposed to pass on a lifetime of lived experience - gleaned insights - hard-won wisdom. 

Disrupted pivotal steps - postpone today's generations learning from past ones.

Not the Elderly

Missing connectivity ...

In limbo from lost togetherness.

They're supposed to engage in conversation - exchange reflections ... turn to someone and share a thought in the moment.

Disrupted pivotal steps - curtail the quality-of-life.

But -

What-if?

What-if ... the emotional toll of coronavirus is a steep learning curve? What-if ... insecurity and isolation squeezes everybody into a future no one can envision yet? 

What-if ... the pandemic opens the ability for humans to discover a never-before-explored depth of consciousness?

The Certain

What-if the old road -

Walked for so long washed away ... never to be found again?

What-if the new road lies-in-wait?

Inside the virus's shadow. Obscured by natural disasters; or, well-concealed below humanity's overreach into nature ...

Because -

Buried deep beneath breaking catastrophes, alarming statistics - every new drama that strikes before recovering from the last - human beings' shoulder daily life.

No matter -

If you lost a loved one to illness; lost a home to fire; lost your job - income - to the economic downturn ...

Or -

Lost a friend in the social - constitutional - fallout.

Everyone's a balloon floating aimlessly ... a pinprick away from the edge of the cliff. Headed for where we don't know. Uncertain if we'll know when we arrive ...

But -

Your spirit carries on.

You. Carry. On.

What more is there for me to do?

Now You Let-Go

The Surrender 

Like a mallard ... 

Partnered for life - always nearby -

That sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up 

While ...

Embracing you in its loving-kindness - assuring you of the anchor beneath your everyday world -

Until -

You crave more.

The Simple

Life's hobbled ...

You're frozen in place. Long to focus on your journey -

But -

It's just too much!

Too much chaos. Too much confusion to tap into the quiet ... reach that peaceful inner place; look for that deeper meaning inside any conflict you're embroiled in.

You found it before. Know it's there; experienced how simple life can be.

Ironically -

Humans complicate simple.

Your out of control desperate-self stays up too late; indulges in a movie binge; eats a piece of chocolate cake. A little diversion here. A tiny distraction there sabotages your best-of-intents -

Until -

That feel-not-so-good feeling - down deep in your gut - alarms you ... simple is dying an agonizing death with all the nip-and-tucks.

And yet ...

No single turn destroys your path.

You cling to a glimmer of hope: sitting together with The Procrastinator ... not talking at cross-purposes; not criticizing each other - disagreeing respectfully.

You try ... you fail. You try ... you fail. Will The Procrastinator ever part company with his dithering, dilly-dallying, kick-the-can-down-the-road posturing?

You try again and again - fail a million times - until you throw up your hands: Enough wrangling! Enough bantering ... enough wrestling with your conscience.

It's time to turn the page ... 

The Attempt

Held by the scruff of your neck ...

You watch.

The pandemic propels millions into a grip-of-fear, anguish-of-grief, poverty-of-helplessness. Lifestyles disappear; friends become ill ... lose their job - then lose everything else.

At the same time -

You persevere: Know what The Procrastinator's doing now?

Yet-to-Be knows - you know - Yet-to-Be's not a dumping ground - or therapist.

Getting pushy ... about the foodbank!

Yet-to-Be knows what you don't know ...

Each failed attempt brings you closer. You think a little more; ask a few questions; deliberate - even if only with yourself -

A bushelful of stress is what I've turned out to be. I'm agitated. Frustrated. Can't find the words to keep The Procrastinator from demanding his way ...

And -

Turning angry ... I didn't ask for this!

Yet-to-Be understands ...

When I was a big kid - that's being older than six - I went to Henry's farm once. It wasn't Henry making an impression on me that day.

It was Tina his wife.

The Shift

What would you do without Yet-to-Be?

No one else knows -

Distractions pull you off course. No one else knows - you're on the lookout for what others can't imagine possible. No one else knows - how you think; what you say; the way you act - already slowly changing in you.

Every time I went to visit, Tina was baking what they called brown bread. I liked it because it looked like the color of dirt and had a hard chewy crust. She had some in the oven you could smell all the way out to the chicken yard that day. GrandMa - that's what I called her because I didn't have one of those nearby either - was fixing chicken stew that night and started to chase a hen to butcher.

No one else knows ...

You trust Yet-to-Be's morsels of wisdom before testing them out yourself -

They called it chasing - but Tina didn't really run after a hen. She stood real still, next to the fenced in corner, waiting for the one she wanted to come by. Then with a hand quicker than lightening could strike - pulled it out from under itself. 

A big old stump that started to rot from the inside out had two nails as wide apart as the size of my tiny hand already in it. I couldn't figure out what she was going to do - hurrying with that squawking chicken wriggling to set itself free from her hands. Nobody had to tell me - once I saw her lay that neck between those nails.

Her arm came down as fast as I hoped a guillotine would and I never saw the axe. She backed up, then let the chicken be. It flapped and flopped around the yard for as long as it takes to drink a glass of water down real quick - then was still ever after.

You're paying more attention ...

To Yet-to-Be - and that far-away look like being back there again -

I felt like that flippin-floppin chicken sometimes.

You hear the catch in Yet-to-Be's voice -

Frantic was the only way my kin were - not knowing how else to be. And I didn't like it rubbing off onto me. I kept thinking, "If I can somehow just see my way to look at them different ... "

Yet-to-Be's last words trail ...

Then start in again ... this time with a little softer tone -

That's when I hoped: "Maybe, there's a way I won't turn out like them."

The Trust

Yet-to-Be trusts you ...

Laying bare a private side few get to see -

So I took the advice Old Grandfather Tree would say to do if he was nearby. I got myself as quiet as I could get.

I walked through Tina's clean scraped garden rows. Ones she hoed with her straw hot on to keep the sun from shining in her eyes. I picked an early pod - like I knew she wouldn't mind - shelled it, then let that sweet pea tickle my taste buds awake listening to the low-pitched morning dove coo its long sad song.

Yet-to-Be knows ...

Sharing a deep scar touches the wound inside of you -

At supper that night, all I could think about was that flippin-floppin chicken - instead of the stew on my plate. I squirmed in my seat; fidgeted with my spoon; flipped my fork. I wanted to eat what I knew tasted better than anybody else's cooking in the county ... but couldn't.

They watched and let me be - knowing some bother was on my mind - until I slid from my chair. Old Henry held out his arms wanting to scoop me up inside. I sneaked between them and the cupboard my back was sliding across to escape instead.

Yet-to-Be ...

Carries you to the other side -

Next day, I told Old Grandfather Tree, "I visited Tina's garden." That way he'd know I got real quiet. When I asked him why I couldn't stop thinking about that flippin-floppin chicken reminding me of the people who didn't much care for me - I started to cry. I was afraid I'd turn out like them. Sobs turned to snivels. Then the hiccups started. That's what I knew I'd do - wouldn't have wanted to - and why I didn't go to Henry.

Old Grandfather Tree let me be for a long, long time. He knew the sadness I carried in my heart.

Yet-to-Be ...

Paused a long time too -

Wasn't until sunlight on leaves turned to shadows that I was ready to talk again. "I know there's goodness there somewhere," I started to tell him about the one who hurt me the most. 

I didn't have to tell Old Grandfather Tree how hateful she was. He already knew.

I expected him to stay silent.

He did.

Old Grandfather Tree knew giving him that squawking flippin-floppin chicken - reminding me of how bitter my kin was to me - would help lighten the load I was carrying. Then I could hang back, stay quiet and watch like GrandMa Tina did before catching those chicken legs.

That's when I spotted it -

In the meadow across the crick. A four-leaf clover like MaMa could find without even trying. Everytime she did - for one tiny minute - her face lit up, eyes danced; and she turned tender - like my schoolmates MaMas' did. "That's the goodness in her I can remember," I whispered under my breath.

Can't tell you how long I stood there feeling all happy inside. Wasn't alone anymore in a world not always kind to me.

Old Grandfather Tree let me be ...

Imagine if he could have smiled, he would have 'bout then. Finally, just to be sure I didn't miss what I was to know - I heard a little wisp come from him: "There you are."

I knew ...

I just learned an important lesson I wasn't to forget.

The Resolve

Maybe you've seen The Procrastinator all wrong ...

Maybe you haven't seen him at all -

If-only I could befriend him. Get to know him a little bit more ... break your know-it-all self from needing to be right. If-only I could figure out his blind-sidedness. If-only I could lay my stubborn-self on top of Little-Leaf ...

When -

If-only's shift into a conversation ...

A conversation ... Sharing the courage of neighbors braving isolation. A conversation ... How fitness keeps you and The Procrastinator focused. A conversation ... How proud you both are of family weathering the pandemic storm ...

Until -

Conversations fade into an insight ...

An insight ... The Procrastinator's drawn to a conflict-free pace of life - just like you. An insight ... he cares deeply - just like you. An insight ... he's raising a seeing-eye dog.

It's then -

Insights fade into a stillness - so peaceful, so serene - you're unaffected by everything else swirling around you ...

And know -

You just learned an important lesson you're not to forget.

Hour-after-hour ... 

You free yourself of useless thoughts.

Day-after-day ...

You start all over again. Year-after-year ... you trudge on -  

Until -  

You climb beyond the chaos. Beyond your crazy-making voice; beyond anything ever imagined you dare expect of yourself ...

While -

Slipping into a deeper truth. The truth inside an insight. An insight that telegraphs: All is well with the world! 

And wonder ...

What makes you different?

Even unique?

In your darkest moment, time of deepest despair - you dare look the impossible in the eye. Listen for the space between the words ... until you hear its insight whisper -

And. You. Press. On. 

Like carving a statue ...

From a limestone slab -

So too -  

Does following every insight from each sliver-of-a-Nanosecond waking you up -

Until -

You may not feel the transformation happen ... 

Because -

You'll still be you ... just a better version.

But, you will see the results:   

In the past:

You smile more. Laugh hardier. Have that genuine feel-good-about-yourself feeling as days pass into months. Months turn into years ... 

While - 

Growing into the spiritual person you always were. Gently. Easily. Step by, sometimes, painful step ... transmuting into someone-of-wisdom worth listening to - 

And - become irresistible.

Not because you tapped into the latest gimmick; not because you manipulated somebody else. Not because you lucked out. 

Because -

The more the world intertwines - the more our global interdependent family longs to be acknowledged.

And -

Our human family knows. Your ongoing lived experience flows through you to them -

As you walk-the-talk of Radical-Love.